Little Boy Lost
by Heath07
Summary: SLASH SethRyan Dark themes.


  
  


Title: Little Boy Lost

Rating: R (I'm not kidding here)- Slash. Seth/Ryan Warning: not really graphic, but rough sexual contact nonetheless, dark themes, minor sap

Summary: Things get out of control and then get better. Ugh, I don't know how to summarize this one. lol

Feedback: Please. Your comments are always appreciated.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, yadda yadda...

Notes: I really need a new episode! :-(

_____________

It had never hurt before. 

  
  


Even when they got out of control and nipped and drew blood, it had never quite hurt like this.

  
  


Daylight, the hot sun filtering in through half-closed blinds and even with the air-conditioner on full blast, the room is still in the eighties. 

  
  


Hotter still is the cursed flutter between their bodies as they buck against satin sheets.

  
  


It started out as a lazy afternoon fuck and turned into something so completely different neither had seen it coming.

  
  


Ryan can't say no. Not when Seth looks at him with those big, brown eyes and makes him want to lose control. Makes him throb with need; makes his loins feel like blue fire; the hottest part of a flame. 

  
  


But this is different.

  
  


This is bordering on cruel because Seth has said the very words Ryan didn't think he would ever hear.

  
  


And he is lost. 

  
  


He is that little boy again that no one loved, with all the aggression and frustration coming out in a pound of punishment against the one person who dares to love him and mean it.

  
  


It would be different if they were under the moon, drowning in stars and secrets. But their world, here and now, is light and open. And he dares to let the velvet words snake out of his sensual, swollen mouth and wrap around Ryan's soul. 

  
  


He dares to say it in the light. Under the alabaster iridescence of Helios. 

  
  


So innocent. 

  
  


Free. 

  
  


Seth makes him forget how very young he is at heart; how inexperienced. Seth doesn't know hard fists and pain. 

  
  


Ryan doesn't mean to show him. He doesn't mean to be so rough, but he loses himself every time Seth calls his name in pleasure.

  
  


He slams into him like a freight train gone off-course. He can't regain control. He gropes for it somewhere in the back of his mind. He registers the keens of the one person he truly never wants to hurt, but he can't stop. 

  
  


Ryan swims in the words and the pure, gentle way they sound. 

  
  


And he can't stop. 

  
  


Rays glide across Seth's stomach, a yellow-white trigger disengaged by Ryan's shadow. 

  
  


Urgent thrusts. 

  
  


Corruption.

  
  


And he can't stop.

  
  


Ryan's teeth quiver against the pulse point in Seth's neck. He feels it jump to meet his tongue, so he swaddles it in a feral lick. 

  
  


He can't feel Seth pushing against his chest, strained by his heavy weight. All he can feel are those words still dominant in his head. 

  
  


The mattress starts to thrum against the wall. Their breathing becomes erratic as they twist in gothic fascination.

  
  


Everything shatters. 

  
  


Everything comes to an end; to a beginning. 

He doesn't realize what he's really done until he opens his eyes. 

  
  


He can hear Seth's panicked breath and low gasps of distress.

  
  


He trembles and rolls away. Slumping against the soft cushions of the bed, he puts his face in his hands, ashamed. 

  
  


A strong hand rubs his back, but he's still shaking and he won't look up. 

  
  


"Ryan?" Seth's voice is thick and Ryan can hear the trace of tears that coat his throat with salt.

  
  


Seth pulls him up, drags him down the hall to the shower. They step in it together and Seth lets the water run tepid over their skin. 

  
  


There is blood at the drain and it swishes down drop by drop until the water runs clear again. 

  
  


"Oh, God," Ryan says, his eyes silver-blue with anguish. Everything is written in those eyes, a lacerated tide of emotions.

  
  


He examines the other boy. Notices his split lip. A dark purple-black bruise on his hips. Scratches down his back, red and angry, not bleeding anymore, but raw and weeping poison to reconnect the damaged tissue.

  
  


"I..." he struggles to find the right words. There are no words to say you're sorry for what you are... for what those words mean to him.

  
  


Seth places his hand on Ryan's chest, smooths it down to mesh with the fine hairs that cover his stomach. "S'okay."

  
  


Ryan can see that he's scared him. That maybe it's not okay and that fucking terrifies him. 

  
  


He shakes his head, backs away. His spine connects with the metal soap fixture and grinds into his bones like a blunt knife. "No, it's not."

  
  


Seth pulls him close. Holds him firm. Ryan doesn't fight him. He knows it's not a gambit move, it's sincere and it serves to terminate their dialogue.

  
  


The moments go by slow. The ping of the water on the basin of the tub serves as the only sound.

  
  


Seth waits with patience he never knew he had for Ryan to make the first move. 

  
  


Ryan eyes are dark and blotched red when he finally looks up. If pain equates that type of hungry, worshipping look from Ryan, Seth would take the punishment again. He knows Ryan and he knows what it all meant; why it was so frantic.

  
  


It was a statement.

  
  


Not ownership. Partners. 

  
  


Ryan is not good with words.

  
  


He laves at Seth's bloodied lip, tonguing away crimson blood and pain.

  
  


Seth's finger touches Ryan's mouth. He traces the bow of his lips and lets his nail scrap at the scar just above the upper one. "How'd you get this?"

  
  


It's the smallest, purest scar Ryan owns. He has many scars and they litter his body, but Seth has never asked about any of them and they both know where they came from without a word. "I tried to ride my brother's bike and fell, lost two baby teeth too."

  
  


Seth smiles, runs his thumb over it now. "That was stupid," he says, humour in his chocolate eyes. Too sweet.

  
  


"I know," Ryan agrees.

  
  


Seth smiles. A slow, crooked smile, deep pockets of dimples and all. "I better not let you fall again. We don't want to mess up that pretty face of yours."

  
  


"Too late," Ryan says, deadly serious.

  
  


He's fallen again. Hard.

  
  


Seth nods and kisses his temple. 

  
  


Seth is forgiving; more forgiving than Ryan could ever be. 

  
  


A throb aches in a much different place this time... 

  
  


His heart. 

_______

end


End file.
